Block Out

Description: A stain blocker
Main Pitch: "The invisible, waterproof barrier that blocks out the biggest spills"
Main Offer: $19.95 for a large can and a travel-size can
Bonus: Double the offer (just pay processing)
Starring: Phil Swift
Marketer: Swift Response
Website: www.GetBlockOut.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

This is Mr. Swift's fifth attempt at DRTV success following Flex Seal, and he continues to exhibit an unwillingness to 'think outside the can.' As one industry veteran recently put it to me: "We do what we know." I accept that because it makes sense. What doesn't make sense is the failure to pay attention and learn from DRTV history.

Thinking you can out-pitch Marc Gill is one thing. But thinking you can succeed where the family who brought us OxiClean and Orange Glo failed is quite another.

Actually, this will be the third time this concept was tried on DRTV. NanoDyze was the second.

Bonz Bakery

Description: Bakeware for dog treats
Main Pitch: "The first bake set just for your dog"
Main Offer: $10 for one silicone tray, recipe book and peanut butter mix
Bonus: Paw tray (just pay S&H)
Marketer: Emson
Website: www.BonzBakery.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

I believe that in DR, the third time is never the charm. So what about the fourth time? Well, that's when I declare a DRTV concept a "Siren" (for more, see my April column).

Here's the history, all from 2011 as it turns out:

• In February of 2011, Telebrands tried Woof Wraps
 
• In August of 2011, Eagle Eye tried Easy Treat Maker
 
• In November of 2011, SAS Group tried Doggy Time Treats (written by yours truly)

All three projects were never heard from again. One bright spot: Apparently my work was admired because this commercial begins with an homage to my commercial. I'm flattered.

Arch Pumps

Description: Inflatable insoles
Main Pitch: "The customizable insoles that conform to your exact foot shape"
Main Offer: $19.95 for a pair
Bonus: 2nd pair (just pay P&H)
Marketer: Ontel
Website: www.BuyArchPumps.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

Insoles top my list of categories to avoid. I've seen only failures and no successes.

It seemed this same marketer was about to prove me wrong with Strutz Sole Angels, but then the campaign didn't make my True Top Spenders for 2012. The Website is still live, but if that's the best this category can do ...

Sleek Straps

Description: Clip-on undergarment straps
Main Pitch: "Sensational styling straps that hold shapewear in place"
Main Offer: $10 for three pairs (black, nude & white)
Bonus: Double the offer (just pay P&H)
Marketer: Allstar
Producer: Monte-Brooks
Website: www.SleekStraps.com
Prediction: On the fence

Is this a real problem? Will women like the look of this solution? Without market research, I wouldn't dare try to answer these questions. And because this item is unique in concept, I can't rely on DRTV history, either.

The closest product I can think of to this one would be Strap Perfect, which was a hit but also solved a completely different problem.

Bottom line: Your guess is as good as mine!

Weekly Round-Up

1. Brushy Bowl. Marketer: Lenfest. Producer: Opfer. Pitch: "The revolutionary dog dish designed specifically to brush away bad dog breath lickety-split." Comments: A 'fast fail.' You can still watch the spot here for now. [ss]
 
2. Cel Lens. Pitch: "The four-time magnifying lens that fits onto any mobile device with a camera." Comments: Another 'fast fail,' it would seem, since the site is already down. You can still watch the spot here for now. [ss]
 
3. Magic Closer. Pitch: "Remembers to close your garage even when you forget." Comments: Selling on negative emotions such as fear and paranoia (did I close the garage door? did I leave the iron on?) seldom works. Indeed, I pity the poor person who experiences these worries intensely enough to order this product! [ss]
 
4. R2L. Pitch: "Proven in FCC certified labs to reduce cell phone radiation by up to 70 percent." Comments: Amatuer hour. When you have to use lines like, "you can't see it but it's there" in your commercial, you should save the money. Also: Does anyone besides the 'tin-foil hat' crowd think this is a real problem? [ss]
 
5. Sport Aquarium. Pitch: "The ultimate freshwater fish aquarium for sports fans everywhere." Comments: What a bizarre and random item to try on DRTV! At least it's unique. [ss]
 
6. Super Fast Drain Cleaner. Starring: Professor Amos. Pitch: "Works so fast that it'll shock you." Comments: This is the HSN star's second recent attempt at DRTV success. His first was Shock It Clean (#10 in this Weekly Round-Up from August of last year). [ss]
 
7. Youth Perfect. Starring: Maryann Batiste. Pitch: The "pillow case designed to protect your youth." Comments: In DR, the third time is never the charm. Smooth As Silk and Beauty Silkz were the first two attempts. Love My Face, a pillow with similar properties, was also tried. [ss]