SciMark Report from December Response

Got tripped up by the new filing system on the Response Website and didn't realize my latest columns had been posted. In case you missed it, my December column is here. Reviews include: B-Lifted, Scarfy and HD Audio Headphones [a].

Review: Amaze Vase

Description: A multi-level flower vase
Main Pitch: "Create fantastic floral displays just like the professionals"
Main Offer: $19.99 for one with hanging wire, decorative beads and Arrangements Guide
Bonus: 2nd complete set (just pay processing)
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.GetAmazeVase.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

I started off confused as to why anyone except flower enthusiasts would want this. Then they started mixing flowers with food and really lost me.

Fall True Top 50

My seasonal True Top 50 report for the fall of 2010 is finally ready. This ranking covers September, October and November of last year. The criteria remains the same as the Summer report, specifically:

• Only the 75 rated national cable stations were included
• Any spot shorter than two minutes was excluded
• Campaigns were ranked by spots aired and money spent (with the latter given twice the weighting)
• Campaigns for services were excluded (since this ranking is about products)

As always, I welcome your feedback. In a later post, I will check my predictions against this report and let everyone know how I did.

Rounding Out the Year (2010)

Here are eight quick reviews of the last few campaigns I collected before the end of the year:

1. Chamease. Pitch: "Stronger than leather ... [it's] a reusable scientific breakthrough in cleaning" and "never use paper towels again." Comments: Microfiber for cleaning is a proven loser. It has never worked in short-form DRTV. In this case, the campaign is also likely to fail because the problem solved is a weak one (the cost of paper towels and Swiffer pads). Value comparisons are good for helping prospects justify a DRTV purchase, but they are rarely strong enough to be the main driver of sales. [a]
    
2. Convert-A-Classic. Pitch: "Convert classic memories on tape to digital files stored onto your computer." Marketer: Allstar. Producer: Kingstar. Comments: Love the product and the pitch. I expect big things. [a]
    
3. Fast Attack. Pitch: "Intense bubbling action ... will power through even the toughest clogs." Comments: The only clog removers that have had success in recent years are devices; e.g. Ontel's Turbo Snake. A liquid solution has no shot given the competition in the category. On a related note, any powerful chemical raises safety and environmental concerns that I believe only a trusted brand can overcome. [a]
    
4. Natural Waves. Pitch: "The ingenious hair-styling clip you just scrunch, apply and let dry for beautiful waves that look perfectly natural without the hassle." Marketer: Allstar. Producer: Blue Moon Studios. Comments: It's possible this one could be a hit, but anything to do with women and style is a big unknown in my book -- and the hair category doesn't have a great track record on DRTV. Many are tried; few are successful. [a]
    
5. Speed Waver. Pitch: "Creates a variety of waves in half the time of curling irons." Marketer: Helen of Troy. Comments: This is the $40 solution to the problem Natural Waves purports to solve. It also faces the same challenges from a pure direct-response perspective. Of course, this clearly isn't a pure response play, and I don't know enough about the model to predict success or failure. [a]
    
6. Stash It Basket. Pitch: "The ingenious new slide out basket that gives you the extra kitchen space you need." Marketer: Allstar. Producer: Blue Moon Studios. Comments: Blue Moon has a knack for identifying everyday organizational problems. As I've written previously, organization in general is a tricky category for DRTV because only a small percentage of the population is passionate about it  (the Felix Ungars of the world). Most people are happily messy. But there appears to be specific types of organization everyone is into. The early indication is that organizing the two dozen or so spices we all have (see Swivel Store) is one example. Cleaning up counter clutter and/or unburdening overstuffed drawers would seem to be another likely candidate, so I wouldn't be surprised if this one does well. [a]
    
7. The Rack. Pitch: "The fitness breakthrough that transforms into three body-sculpting positions." Comments: This one seems to meet all the criteria for the relatively new short-form men's fitness category that products such as Ontel's Iron Gym and Tower 200 tapped into. At 30 pounds, though, the shipping costs must be horrible! No wonder the full price is $150. (Also, am I the only one who thinks this product was inspired by some musclehead's grandmother's walker?) [a]
    
8. Tush Turner. Pitch: "The swiveling seat cushion that makes getting in and out of any car easier." Marketer: Telebrands. Producer: Blue Moon Studios. Comments: Up until about the halfway point of this commercial, this campaign registered as "likely to fail." This type of solution has been tried at least twice before, and I'm closely familiar with the dismal results. I thought the addition of memory foam was an inspired idea but not enough to turn a loser into a winner. Then the creative mentioned using this swiveling cushion on chairs at home, and suddenly the product doubled its appeal. Nicely done. Of course, I still wonder about any campaign that relies solely on seniors to roll out. Experience shows you need Baby Boomers to have the "legs" for a national campaign. But perhaps the problem this solves is so universal among seniors, it won't matter. (On a side note, I'm surprised to see Bernie M. in a commercial. I didn't know the prisons allowed for this sort of work-release program! More to the point, I'm not sure he's the right choice for a testimonial given all the negative press he has received.) [a]

It's Not All Good Press

Not all of the press AJ gets is good. To be fair, I am including this link to a recent NY Post article.

Two observations. First, the reporters' issue is not with AJ or Telebrands, but with a DRTV technique that has been around for decades. AJ is just taking the hit for the industry as a result of his high profile and the newsworthiness of the product.

Second, what some hourly customer service rep at a call center says is poor evidence of anything -- as anyone who has listened to their recorded calls can attest.