Sales or Intangibles?

From Ad Age today: “A study to be published in the Journal of Marketing that covered 167 companies including Procter & Gamble, Microsoft and Apple over a five-year period concludes that CMOs on top management teams don't have any effect on a company's financial performance. The disheartening finding … is sure to reignite the longstanding debate afflicting the suite: Should a CMO be judged on tangible or intangible metrics? On solid stats such as sales, or on more amorphous concepts such as brand equity or even awareness?”

I think Rosser Reeves answered this question best nearly 50 years ago: “Let’s say you are a manufacturer. Your advertising isn’t working and your sales are going down. And everything depends on it. Your future depends on it, your family’s future depends on it, other people’s families depend on it. And you walk into this office and talk to me, and you sit in that chair. Now, what do want out of me? Fine writing? Do you want masterpieces? Do you want glowing things that can be framed by copywriters? Or do you want to see the goddamned sales curve stop moving down and start moving up?”

New Items: Body Wedge, Ab Complete, The Shade and more

Here's what's new in the short-form world this week:

1. BODY WEDGE 21 ($21) is an inflatable wedge used for doing ab exercises and other core strengthening routines. The main claim: Use it for “just 21 minutes a day to get the body of a 21 year old in just 21 days.” The offer includes a nutritional guide. The bonus is a DVD of “Advanced Tips and Techniques.” Comes with optional resistance bands. This is a Telebrands item. www.Bodywedge21.com
Comments: Unlikely to succeed. It’s hard to make a multi-use exercise item like this work in short-form. If it were tightly focused on abs, it might have a better shot. But abs is a crowded category right now with The Bean and Hip Hops Abs topping the infomercial charts.

2. AB COMPLETE ($1 Trial) is an ab machine that works like a rocking chair, providing resistance on the way down. The main claim: “With its amazing 4 in 1 Reverse Super Sculpt, [it] will shrink your waist 4 times faster than any other exercise machine on the market.” The offer is a $1 trial with free shipping. www.AbComplete.com
Comments: Unlikely to succeed. The product isn’t unique enough and, as mentioned above, the airwaves are crowded with competing ab products right now.

3. THE SHADE ($19.95) is a sun shade for a car’s windshield. It’s retractable and pleated (accordion-style). The main claim: It “keeps your car up to 60 degrees cooler.” The bonus is a “grip and go” all-weather velour steering wheel cover. www.BuyDashProducts.com
Comments: Might just work. Allstar’s Auto Cool was a major hit last summer, partly because of a major heat wave in the Northeast. This summer, temperatures are again topping 100 degrees. That said, this product is a lot less unique than Auto Cool. With the exception of it being mountable and retractable, people may wonder what real advantage it offers over traditional (and cheaper) auto shades.

4. REJUVENELLE (Free Trial) is a wrinkle cream. The main claim: It “reduces existing wrinkles and prevents new ones.” The offer is a free trial, just pay $9.95 S&H. The bonus is a dark circle under-eye treatment. www.GoAwayWrinkles.com
Comments: There is nothing to differentiate this product from all the other wrinkle creams on the market.

5. LOVIDO (Free Trial) is a male potency product from Norway. The main claim: “Helps boost sexual drive, stamina and energy.” The offer is a free trial, just pay $6.95 S&H. www.Lovido.com
Comments: The commercial lacks credibility. There is no reason to believe this product works or that’s it different from the male potency scams out there.

6. LACTAGEN (Free Trial) is a treatment for lactose intolerance. It’s a one-time, 38-day program that’s backed by medical and clinical trials. The main claim: “Enjoy dairy again without the worry and pain of symptoms.” The offer is a free trial, just pay $8.95 S&H. The bonus is a coupon for a free ice cream. www.EnjoyDairy.com
Comments: May work in a narrow way. Lactose intolerance isn’t a mass market problem, but for the people that have it, this product’s promise is unique and intriguing. One potential turn-off: After the 30-day trial, customers are billed three payments of $39.95.

7. RE-GRO (Free Trial) is a hair re-growth system for African American women. The bonus is a free scalp moisturizer. www.MyRegro.com
Comments: May work in a narrow way. There are two stations that this will work on especially well.

8. PUPPY STAIRS (Free Trial) is a knock-off of Telebrands’ Doggy Steps. This product comes in a variety of styles, including stairs, ramps and cubes. The main claim: Helps “dogs, cats, kittens and other pets get on and off sofas and beds safely.” The offer is a free trial. The bonus is a pet pillow cover. www.PuppyStairs.com
Comments: Unlikely to succeed. Besides being second to market, this product offers no advantage over Doggy Steps. Additionally, this company is offering a bewildering array of products with different fabric options that’s sure to confuse and dissuade anyone but the most motivated prospect.

Sources: “New Spots for Week Ending 6/29/07,” IMS (1-7); "Vol. XVI, No. 36-B, 6/29/07," Jordan Whitney (8)

New Items: Pro-Stick, Micro-Grill, Litter Locker and more

Here's my periodic report on the latest DRTV commercials to hit the airwaves ...

1. FRESHINI PRO-STICK (2 pay, $14.95) is a cordless kitchen power tool with multiple attachments. The offer includes a stick blender attachment and an electric knife attachment. The bonus is a whisk attachment. No URL
Comments: Long shot. What makes this product unique is also its greatest liability: Its many functions. There's just too much here to cram into a two-minute spot. Additionally, there are a many superior products on the market that perform these same functions. And the price is high for DRTV.

2. MICRO-GRILL (2 pay, $19.95) is a small, Foreman-style grill that goes in the microwave. The heat-conducting plates are supposed to give you grilled food at microwave speed. The offer includes a cooking guide and recipe cards. The bonus is an additional set of recipe cards and special spacers that let you cook pastries in the microwave. www.MicroGrill.com
Comments: Unlikely to succeed. The pitch is unconvincing. Millions of DRTV buyers own and love the Foreman grill. I don't think they're sitting around wishing they had a faster version of it. As Prof. Christensen would say, the Foreman grill is a "good enough solution." Moreover, the problem this product solves (rubbery microwave meat) isn't hit hard enough in the spot, further weakening the pitch. And the price is high for DRTV.

3. AIRBLOX ($14.95 trial/$99.99) are inflatable building blocks for kids. They're over-sized and multi-colored, and can be used to build castles, rocket ships, houses, etc. The offer includes 12 blocks with connecting clips and clip bag, an "imagination guide" and the air pump. www.Airblox.com
Comments: Unlikely to succeed. Too narrow and too expensive for DRTV. Cool item for another marketing channel, though.

4. LITTER LOCKER ($19.99) is a cat litter disposal system. It looks like a diaper disposal and has a built-in supply of liners with a cutter. The offer includes a scoop and an eight-week supply of liners. The bonus is a laser pointer/cat toy (just pay S&H). This is a Telebrands item and a Blue Moon commercial. www.BuyLitterLocker.com
Comments: Close, but ... It only appeals to cat owners, which reduces the odds of having a big hit. Plus, cat owners most likely have come up with or purchased a solution to the "smelly litter box" problem.

5. LATIN CARDIO ($19.95) is a workout routine that combines Latin dance moves with a cardio workout routine. The offer includes a DVD and a soundtrack. The bonus is a nutritional eBook. www.LatinCardio.tv
Comments: Unlikely to succeed ... in short-form. It was only a matter of time before someone tried this variation of the hugely successful Hip Hop Abs program. But short-form is the wrong form. As a show, this could be a smoker since Latin dance moves are more popular than Hip Hop dance moves.

6. JOTARA RELIEVE IT ($29.95) is a pain-relief product. The offer is buy one, get one free. The bonus is free shipping. www.Jotara.com
Comments: There is little to distinguish this pain reliever from the dozens of other products on the market. [Editor's Note: This entry has been edited for accuracy.]

7. KINOKI ($19.99) are foot pads that are supposed to draw harmful toxins out of your body as you sleep. The offer includes 14 pads, a two-week supply. The bonuses are a lifetime supply of pads (monthly auto-ship, just pay $9.99 S&H) and a tube of Pampered Solutions Foot Scrub. www.BuyKinoki.com
Comments: They use Japanese reflexology as an explanation in their pitch, something that lacks credibility with the American mass market.

8. CORE RHYTHMS (30-Day Free Trial) is a workout routine that combines Ballroom Latin dance moves with a cardio workout routine. Features testimonials from Len Goodman of ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" and Mary Murphy of FOX's "So You Think You Can Dance." The offer includes four DVDs. www.CoreRhythms.com
Comments: Unlikely to succeed ... in short-form. This one has an even better shot of succeeding than Latin Cardio. Using well-known celebrities from two popular dance shows as testimonials is a brilliant idea. But again, short-form is the wrong form. As a show, this would be a big hit and could possibly even blow Hip Hop Abs off the charts.

Source: "New Spots for Week Ending 6/22/07," IMS

Introducing My New Blog

Today I'm introducing my first blog: The SciMark Report. The general topic will be direct-response marketing, but I will mainly focus on my specific areas of expertise: direct-response television (DRTV), print and Web.

My main purpose in creating this blog was to share and get feedback on new projects I was working on, but it quickly became a way to move my "New Items" report online as well. For those of you who aren't familiar with this service, it's a report on the latest DRTV spots to appear on the IMS tape and Jordan Whitney DVD, both of which I receive weekly. The report includes the new product's name, its TV price, a description of the product and the offer, the Web address, and any other information I can glean. There is also an "editorial" area where I share my opinions on the strengths and weaknesses of an item. Moving this report online will allow anyone to search my archives to learn when a spot first aired and to discover if something similar to their new product idea has ever aired before.

My long-term goal for this blog is to have a place where I can post my general thoughts on marketing. I also intend to post updates from time to time on my various research projects -- essentially what I've been learning as a practicing direct-response marketer.

My first research project began five years ago when I started buying and reading every book I could find on the topic of direct marketing (and collected quite an impressive library in the process). I went as far back as the 1920s, starting with what I call the ‘Old Masters.’ Men like Claude Hopkins (“Scientific Advertising”) and John E. Kennedy (“Reason Why Advertising”). Then I moved on to the masters who practiced in the middle of the 20th century, including John Caples (“How To Make Your Advertising Make Money”) and Alvin Eicoff (“Or Your Money Back”). I finished up by reading books by some more recent masters, such as Joseph Sugarman (“Advertising Secrets of the Written Word”) and Ron Popeil (“The Salesman of the Century”).

During my research, I also had exposure to several masters who are still in practice today. For example, I had multiple conversations with AJ Khubani, an industry veteran and the president of Telebrands, and heard him give several presentations on what it takes to make a DRTV commercial successful.

I also benefited greatly from my relationship with Dick Wechsler, owner of the industry’s leading DRTV agency, Lockard & Wechsler Direct. Dick’s decades of experience running successful print and DRTV campaigns was a treasure trove of scientifically proven DRTV techniques.

After reading every book and article I could get my hands on, and listening intently to these industry veterans, I ended up with pages and pages of notes. I later distilled these notes into several "cheat sheets" and checklists, some of which I will be sharing on this blog.

I hope you enjoy visiting here often, and I invite you to post a comment whenever you have something to share.

Weekly Round-Up

From the Pre-Blog Archives

1. GRILL DADDY ($19.95) is a BBQ grill cleaning tool. It has stainless steel bristles and release a stream of water that creates a steam-cleaning effect on hot grills. The bonus is a color-changing meat thermometer. This is a Steve Harkey commercial. Comments: Adding a water gun to a generic grill cleaning brush isn't going to move people off the couch.
 
2. READY BED (2 pay, $19.95) is a combined air mattress and sleeping bag for kids. There are four different themes: Dora the Explorer, Disney Princess, Spider Man and Thomas & Friends. The offer includes a "messenger bag" style carrying case and a battery-powered pump. The bonus is a travel neck pillow for kids. Comments: I like it. The price is high for DRTV and the market/media is limited, but the product is a wow idea and a great solution for sleepovers.
 
3. MAGIC CARRY ($19.99) is a harness system for moving heavy objects. It consists of shoulder straps and clips that let you use evenly distribute the weight and leaves your hands free. Uses include: Lifting air conditioners, monitors, mattresses, etc. The offer includes a support pad for extra heavy things. The bonus is a set of four "Easy Sliders" (aka Moving Men). This is a Billy Mays commercial.
   
   Comments: Unlikely to succeed. This is reminiscent of the Forearm Forklifts, and suffers from some of the same shortcomings. But while the Forearm Forklifts weren't a great value, this at least looks like it's worth $20. The problem is one of credibility. I don't think people (especially the older, more fragile DRTV buyer) will believe that a system of straps will allow them to lift two or three times what they can lift normally.
 
4. CLEAR-2-O ($12.95 S&H) is a water-purifying pitcher that is supposed to filter out five times more contaminants than similar products. Instead of running water into the top, you attach a hose to your spigot. The offer is try it free, just pay S&H. They also pitch their home delivery program for the filters.
   
   Comments: Unlikely to succeed. This is a classic "better than" product. As a result, it faces the same challenge all products of this sort face -- the leading product is good enough. In the commercial, they use cloudy water to demonstrate the superiority of their filtration. But in real life, the tap water probably isn't cloudy and the leader's product (i.e. Brita) is producing crystal clear results. That means the consumer would need an education and a microscope to appreciate the benefits of this item, which means it's not an impulse buy.