Weekly Round-Up

1. Roll-A-Troll. Marketer: Telebrands. Pitch: "Roll 'em, catch 'em, toss 'em around." Comments: Like Beast Ballz (see No. 2 in this Weekly Round-Up), this is another flyer in the toy category. [ss]
 
2. Blobbits. Pitch: "Moldable, meltable creatures that melt away." Comments: This looks like something boys would like, and it has play value. As for the odds of success, see above. It's a roll of the dice. [ss]
 
3. EZ Manicure. Marketer: Global TV. Pitch: "The fool-proof cure for messy manicures." Comments: A 'fast fail.' (Link goes to spot.) This has been a hit-or-miss category with the hits (Salon Express, Hot Designs) being strong enough to warrant the losing attempts. Variety and style -- as opposed to problem/solution -- seems to be the key, hence the unpredictability. [ss]
 
4. Holiday Light Saver. Producer: Kerrmercials. Pitch: "Pack and store lights in seconds with no tangles." Comments: I don't understand why anyone would test a hyper-seasonal product like this one because of the retail challenges. If anyone is able to make the case, I'd love to hear it. [ss]
 
5. ICEE Float Machine. Pitch: "Now you can crank out fun, fruity icees like you ask for at the store." Comments: Great brand, solid demos, proven category (Slushy Magic, Squeezy Freezy, Ice Cream Magic) ... and yet this is a 'fast fail.' (Link goes to spot.) One reason: A DR 101 'fail' with regard to strategy. They tried to sell more than one product in a two-minute spot. It's technically a "kitchen sink offer," but it starts at the one-minute mark. [ss]
 
6. Luma Pots. Pitch: "Bring some life, color and style to your planters." Comments: This product doesn't solve a problem, so the project is betting on people liking this decorative concept. I typically don't like to gamble in this way, but (benefit of the doubt) maybe this marketer has some research to support the bet? [ss]
 
7. Perfect Hands. Marketer: Will It Launch. Pitch: "The fast, easy, safe way to give your hands a paraffin spa treatment at home." Comments: Another 'fast fail.' (Link goes to spot.) This has been tried for feet without success (see 30 Second Foot Repair and also No. 9 in this Weekly Round-Up), and hand treatments don't have a good track record on DRTV, either (see Hand Perfection and No. 7 in this pre-blog Weekly Round-Up). [ss]
 
8. Wonki Wands. Pitch: "Makes bubbles up to four feet wide and 40 feet long." Comments: A cool product and a great spot with plenty of 'wow' ... but there may not be room in the marketplace for another bubble product given Juggle Bubbles and Wubble Bubble are already in rollout. [ss]
 
9. Zippy Sack. Pitch: "Easily zips up and down to instantly make beds." Comments: This was an interesting attempt because it solves a problem for kids and parents alike. However, it's a 'fast fail.' (Link goes to spot.) My guess: The lack of 'pester power' and play value is what sunk this one. [ss]

SciMark Report from August Response

Ontel's Dream Waves

My latest SciMark Report in print is now available on the Response Website.

For this month’s column I reviewed: Ontel's Dream Waves [ss], Top Dog's Fast Trim Roller [ss] and InvenTel’s Perfect Pop [ss].

Coming Soon

In the upcoming September issue, I'll review the following new projects:

• Telebrands’ Clicker Mop
• InvenTel's Luma Candles
• And Telebrands' Night Stars

Why two Telebrands projects? Because at press time, no one else had a test on the air! In any case, check out next month's issue to see what I have to say about those projects.

Blow Lantern

Description: A vintage-looking LED lantern
Main Pitch: "The portable LED lantern that easily blows on and off"
Main Offer: $12.99 for one
Bonus: 2nd one (just pay a separate fee)
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.BlowLantern.com
Prediction: On the fence

This lantern blows ... on and off, which is a neat point of difference. It also has the same vintage/classic look that helped make Telebrands' Olde Brooklyn Lantern a monster hit and one of my True Top Spenders of 2012. But is that enough?

We now have pretty strong evidence that OBL was an outlier, not a category. That's because every marketer, including Telebrands itself, has tried and failed to replicate its success (eight such attempts are documented here). Although it doesn't make much sense, it appears the campaign was a moment in time that may never be replicated.

On the other hand, most of OBL's followers focused on utility at the expense of style, and that could be the key to the whole thing. This lantern also has some magic to it, which is always a plus on DRTV.

Shaggy Shower

Description: A handheld shower for dogs
Main Pitch: "The new, convenient way to clean your dog anywhere"
Main Offer: $19.99 for one
Bonus: 2nd one (just pay a separate fee)
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.ShaggyShower.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

Easier pet bathing has been tried a few different times with no successes so far. IdeaVillage tried the product most similar to this one. It was called Handy Groomer, and it's still on a Sears Web page even though I'm fairly certain it never officially rolled out.

Other attempts include Allstar's Luv-A-Dub (No. 6 in this Weekly Round-Up and Sponge Buddies (No. 9 in this Weekly Round-Up), which featured the "Olate Dogs" from America's Got Talent. Because of this lackluster history and because this product will require installation, I think it's unlikely to take off. But I'm not ready to declare this a bad category until I see some more evidence.

Turbo Shot

Description: A hose nozzle
Main Pitch: "The little sprayer that's big on features"
Main Offer: $10 for one
Bonus: 25-foot Pocket Hose (just pay a separate fee)
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.GetTurboShot.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

This is another variation of the "fireman's nozzle" concept that Telebrands has already tried (see Mighty Blaster). In fact, they use the same magic demo in this commercial.

I shared all of my thoughts on the concept in that review, so there's no need to repeat myself here.

Weekly Round-Up

1. Super Juicy Burger Pan. Marketer: Edison Nation. Pitch: "Locks juices in tight for the best-tasting burger of your life." Comments: This is a seasonal item that doesn't solve a problem, so the odds are against it. However, the commercial is well done (get it?) and certainly made me hungry, which are good things to be sure. If it flops now but isn't too far off, I'd probably re-test it at the beginning of grill season. [ss]
 
2. Beast Ballz. Pitch: "Ugly, funny, squishy and sick." Marketer: Telebrands. Comments: This one is a total flyer in a hit-or-miss category, so I'm posting here for posterity only. [ss]
 
3. Twinkle Paws. Marketer: Lenfest. Pitch: "Quietly entertains kitty while you sleep." Comments: The success of Lenfest's Cat's Meow surprised me, so I am even less confident of my predictions when it comes to cat owners these days. That said, it seems unlikely that more than one DR cat toy would be successful at a time. [ss]
 
4. Nano Charger XT. Marketer: Top Dog. Producer: Hutton-Miller. Pitch: "The compact, portable power cord that fits on your keychain." Comments: This is an apparent 'fast fail' and yet another smart-phone accessory to bite the dust. I like the concept a lot -- just not for DRTV. [ss]
 
5. Wonder Wrench. Marketer: Allstar. Pitch: "Works in the most difficult space and fits any place." Comments: A 'fast fail.' (Link goes to spot.) As I wrote in last week's round-up about Snake Bit (see No. 7), tools are tough category for DR these days. [ss]

Triple Smooth

Description: A hair remover
Main Pitch: "Removes unwanted hair anywhere in seconds -- and it's virtually pain-free"
Main Offer: $10 for one plus Slow Grow Moisturizing Cream
Bonus: Double the offer (just pay a separate fee)
Marketer: Telebrands
Producer: Concepts TV
Website: www.BuyTripleSmooth.com
Prediction: On the fence

IdeaVillage clearly has the magic touch (get it?) when it comes to this category because no one else has been able to find success. However, Telebrands hasn't really done much in the space and should never be underestimated.

As for the product, it was tried once before under the name EZ Tweeze (see No. 3 in this Weekly Round-Up), but the attempt was by a non-player. IdeaVillage itself also tried the single-coil version of this product (under the name Twist Away), but it looked cheap and ineffective.

TV Time Tray

Description: A food tray
Main Pitch: "The perfect way for today's modern family to enjoy a meal while watching TV"
Main Offer: $10 for one
Bonus: 2nd one (just pay a separate fee)
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.TVTimeTray.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

I have no sense of how many families eat dinner in front of the TV these days, but the idea of a "TV dinner" strikes me as extremely dated -- about as dated as the "space age." Maybe Telebrands has a time capsule from the 1960s and is trying a radical 'Old Gold' strategy?

Joking aside, this actually raises an interesting point about resurrecting old items. In exploring the DRTV past, I've encountered many hit items that capitalized on a trend of the times. Microwave cooking is an example: There was a time a few decades ago when the microwave had reached the height of its penetration and popularity, so microwave cooking items did well. These days, there are many more failures than successes (as I recently discussed here).

Of course, the biggest trend of yesteryear was DRTV itself. Back when buying stuff off TV was still new and the Internet didn't yet exist (what I call the "Golden Age"), hits were more plentiful. These days, the novelty has worn off and finding hits is harder than ever.

Shoes Under: Old Gold?

Current/Original Marketer: Telebrands
Original Hit Year: 2009 (No. 16 on JW Annual, 36 on IMS)
Website: www.ShoesUnder.com
Prediction: On the fence

My hypothesis has always been that a break of 7-10 years is required for a 'Phoenix' to rise again. That's if the marketer is trying to bring back the same exact item, which is the case here. If Shoes Under peaked in 2009, that means less than five years has passed. But Telebrands knows the arc of that previous hit better than me and no doubt has a better handle on market conditions.

I've encountered at least one other major player who believes five years is enough time, so it will be interesting to see if his experiments and ones like this can prove my hypothesis -- which is really just an old rule of thumb I was taught years ago -- wrong.

Weekly Round-Up

1. Go Green Drain Opener. Pitch: "Emulsifies, liquefies and dissolves the clog in seconds but won't harm your pipes." Comments: An apparent 'fast fail.' (Link goes to spot.) I explored "green" as a marketing ploy a few years ago (see this post and this one). The trend is now post-peak but also more mass market these days. However, the environmental impact of clog-busters is likely quite low on people's list of 'eco concerns.' As for the creative, it features a solid magic demo, and the scriptwriter wisely focused on speed and efficacy as primary selling points. I am also liking the new pitchman Tristar is using. [ss]
 
2. Cramp 911. Pitch: "Stop shooting pain caused by muscle cramps and spasms faster than ever." Comments: Only a chronic cramp sufferer would buy this (otherwise it's prevention), and that market is likely too small of a niche to target effectively with DRTV. Also: This is one of those cases where success, if it came, would probably not be a blessing. Experience has taught me that this category is not for amateurs. The claims-substantiation process and regulatory hurdles are formidable. [ss]
 
3. Hand Defender. Pitch: "The world's best liquid gloves." Comments: Not sure what's happening with their Web site, but you can watch the spot here. In any case, I don't think anyone besides a mechanic needs a product like this. The commercial also does a poor job of proving the product works. Prediction: Bomb. [ss]
 
4. Kahuna Grip. Producer: Monte-Brooks. Pitch: "The sure-footed solution that makes any tub safer." Comments: If not for Aqua Rug (a 2013 True Top Spender), I would have declared bath mats a "bad category" long ago. That said, so far it is an outlier. Aqua Rug also had several points of difference superior to this mat. The 'no slip' pitch alone hasn't worked in DR (see No Slip spray and the No Slip Mat), probably because the category is so crowded at retail. [ss]
 
5. Quiet Closer. Pitch: "Keeps doors quiet so kids sleep tight and you rest easy." Comments: This is a great example of why market size is such an important criterion when selecting products for DRTV. Because we use national cable media to advertise our products, we must pick products with the widest possible appeal to prevent wasting our media dollars. You wouldn't use a shotgun to kill a fly. But if you think about the small percentage of cable viewers who have a child young enough for this product to be appealing (the fly), using a shotgun is exactly what this project is attempting to do. On top of that, DRTV-responsive buyers skew older (more grandparents than parents), and the problem solved is quite narrow and low on the scale. [ss]
 
6. Rapid Ramen. Pitch: "The world's fastest and easiest way to cook ramen noodles." Comments: When I think of things that take a long time and are a real drag on people's time, cooking ramen noodles doesn't even make the list. I'm pretty sure you can still buy disposable cups of ramen noodles to which you just add boiling water. If that's too slow for you, you may want to lay off the caffeine! Also: My impression is that most ramen noodles of this type are consumed by college kids. Not exactly the DR market. [ss]
 
7. Snake Bit. Pitch: "The driver extender that snakes its way around corners and fits in tight spaces with ease." Comments: The DuraPRO Snake Driver is an 'old gold' item from 1999 (No. 66 on the JW Annual that year). Although it is still being sold, it might make sense to bring it back. However, tools are tough for our industry these days, particularly at retail. Unless this really captures people's attention, it is unlikely to succeed. [ss]

Pop'emz

Description: Colorful mini suction cups
Main Pitch: "Pop, pop, pop to make amazing eye-popping creations"
Main Offer: $14.95 for set of 500 with mesh bag
Bonus: Double the offer (just pay P&H)
Marketer: Allstar
Producer: Hutton-Miller
Website: www.BuyPopEmz.com
Prediction: Hit!

This has all the elements I've been told make for a good kids' item, including tons of 'play value.' (It reminds me a little of Lite-Brite.)

The inventive, creative commercial is done by the best in the business when it comes to this genre and is flawlessly executed. They even nailed the jingle, which is super-catchy. I'm sure my kids will be singing it around the house any day now!

The only possible reason this won't work: Some unknown variable beyond anyone's control.

Everyday Stonewave Meals

Description: A book of Stone Wave recipes
Main Pitch: "Gourmet ... recipes in minutes"
Main Offer: $10 for one
Bonus: Stone Wave cooker (just pay a separate fee)
Starring: Cathy Mitchell
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.StoneWaveCookbook.com
Prediction: N/A

This is a fascinating experiment in brand and retail support, as well as yet another addition to a growing line of Telebrands short-form books (attempt No. 7 after the Montel book and these five).

I give a lot of credit to Telebrands, once again, for leading the field in trying new things. This is the flip side of a common (and certainly justifiable) lament about them. They have introduced many of the industry's best advertising and business ideas ... which were, of course, shamelessly copied by all.

Magic Steamwave

Description: A cover for the microwave
Main Pitch: "Uses the power of steam to turn your microwave into a food rehydration machine"
Main Offer: $10 for one
Bonus: SteamWave Caddy (just pay S&H)
Marketer: IdeaVillage
Producer: Kerrmercials
Website: www.MagicSteamWave.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

The revive/re-hydrate pitch was tried by Allstar in 2011 (see Lovin' Leftovers) and the idea of making fresh meals in the microwave is currently being tried by Allstar (see Shogun Steamer), so I'm not sure what the play is here. Indeed, I'm not sure this is even a viable category, let alone a big enough category for multiple items.

But what about Stone Wave and Potato Express, you say? True, both of these are successful microwave items. However, one of them is a truly unique product (Stone Wave) with enough exciting recipes to warrant testing its own cookbook. And the other is a potato item, which is specific and may tap into the same weird food obsession people seem to have with eggs.

More to the point, there are no successes beyond those two examples -- and there have been many attempts (as I detail here and here). Looking at those failures, in fact, I see several pitches similar to this one.

Cup Ups

Description: A coffee pod storage solution
Main Pitch: "The best way ever to store all your coffee pods in one easy organizer"
Main Offer: $10 for one
Bonus: 2nd one (just pay a separate fee)
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.CupUps.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

Few household items present enough of a clutter problem to motivate your average person to get organized. In the kitchen, spices have been the only one to date. Coffee pods don't strike me as a viable second, especially since this is still a segment of a segment.

Hug Rugs

Description: Plush animal rugs
Main Pitch: "Super soft cuddly critters your kids can curl up with"
Main Offer: $39.99 with promo code
Bonus: N/A
Marketer: Telebrands
Website: www.HugRugs.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

This is an interesting twist on the old "bear rug" idea. If plush wasn't the most over-mined DRTV category of all time, it would probably have a much better shot ...

Then again, a flat stuffed animal would be kind of difficult to play with and is not nearly as huggable as a stuffed animal that's also a pillow. The price (which is understandable given the amount of material involved) will also hurt sales.