October 19, 2012

Fuel Mizer

Description: A fuel economy monitor
Main Pitch: "The new way to use less gas and save more cash"
Main Offer: $19.99 for one
Bonus: None
Marketer: Telebrands
Producer: Kerrmercials
Website: www.GetFuelMizer.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

I used to believe that a fuel-saving product was a lay-up in times of gas-price spikes, and I once spent months actively looking for such a product. After all, it's a painful problem that's always in the news. But when I did some more research, I discovered that the government is a major impediment to success. (See, for example, this Dura Lube action from 2000.)

Over time, I also thought more carefully about the value propositon of a fuel saver and realized it would be hard to convince people to spend $20 at retail (or $50 on the phone) in order to slowly recoup that outlay over time. It's the same challenge energy-saving products face, and the reason they don't ever seem to find success. "It pays for itself!" doesn't work well if that takes months and months.

This product faces an added challenge: It's a 'nanny device.' Most people are already irritated by those dings and bongs and flashing lights that are constantly nagging them to close their door or put on their seatbelt. The last thing they're going to want is some new device criticizing their driving all the time. You're braking too hard! You're accelerating too fast! It's like paying to have a cranky old lady in the car with you at all times.

Perfect Fries

Description: A french-fry maker
Main Pitch: "The fastest, easiest way to make delicious homemade, natural-cut fries in seconds"
Main Offer: $10 for the cutter and recipe guide
Bonus: Double the offer (just pay P&H), Perfect Fries Basket
Starring: Steve Harkey
Marketer: IdeaVillage
Producer: Dynamic TV Marketing
Website: www.PerfectFries.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

I would have predicted success for this item if I hadn't Web tested a home fry maker about a year ago and seen the dismal results with my own eyes. Apparently, people really don't want to make homeade, natural-cut fries. That could be because frozen fries are so readily available at supermarkets. Or it could be that fries are a guilty pleasure people enjoy infrequently when eating out.

Weekly Round-Up


Ontel employs the 'pro strategy'

  1. Akira. Marketer: Allstar. Producer: Paddock Productions. Pitch: "Japanese precision blades give you the perfect shave." Comments: Great value proposition, but wet shaving is the ultimate crowded category, and I can't see most men choosing this razor over the latest 54-blade, lighted, ultrasonic razor. [ss]
  2.  
  3. Blade Buddy. Pitch: "Maintains the sharpness of your razor blades for months, saving you money." Comments: This product was tried last year under the name Razor Rx. [ss]
  4.  
  5. Can Cooker. Pitch: "An updated version of the old cream can, which was used by farmers/ranchers to cook a hot, hearty and homemade meal while everyone worked." Comments: Jeff Foxworthy called. He says, "If you buy this product ... you might be a redneck." [ss]
  6.  
  7. Dr. Frank's Comfort Bites. Pitch: "An easy and tasty way to help your dog be comfortable and move easily." Comments: Dr. Frank returns to DRTV. His pain sprays were DRTV hits in 2007 and 2008. [ss]
  8.  
  9. Curvassure. Pitch: "Tone, tighten and firm your butt without exercise." Comments: Although I appreciate the cleverness of the name (pause between syllables and you'll get it), this is a really bad idea. Why? Because of this and this. [ss]
  10.  
  11. Foot Fridge. Pitch: "The only innersoles that massage with every step." Comments: Insoles are on my list of bad categories. I can't think of a single one that has ever been a DRTV success. This amateur hour project from "down under" is unlikely to be the exception. [ss]
  12.  
  13. Iron Gym Max. Marketer: Ontel. Producer: LoudMouth TV. Pitch: "Get strong ... get ripped ... faster." Comments: Ontel is employing what I call a 'pro strategy' here. By introducing 'new and improved' versions of hit items every few years, some marketers are able to extend the life of hits at retail. The classic examples are IdeaVillage's Finishing Touch and MicroTouch hair trimmers, now in their fifth? sixth? reincarnation and still selling strong. Iron Gym was a solid hit in 2009. Let's see if the 'pro strategy' works in fitness. [ss]
  14.  
  15. Moth Blocker. Pitch: "The clear, odorless moth protection that applies in seconds." Comments: A solution in search of a problem. [ss]
  16.  
  17. My Twinn. Description: A doll created to resemble a child between three and 12. Comments: I'm going to order one of these, and I shall call him ... mini-me! Seriously, am I the only one who wouldn' buy this for fear it would come to life at night? [ss]
  18.  
  19. No Blade Fan. Marketer: Allstar. Pitch: "A smooth, cool breeze without the danger of blades." Comments: Another 'fast fail.' [ss]
  20.  
  21. Scoop Free. Pitch: "The world's first self-cleaning litter box you can leave alone for up to 30 days." Comments: This is an old idea (see Litter Maid), and the Allstar hit Sift & Toss (No. 38 on my True Top Spenders list) is $9.99 at retail with no strings attached. [ss]

October 16, 2012

Next Up on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

If you thought Shake Weight was sexually suggestive, wait until you see this! (email readers click here)

Unlike Tug Toner, this is an actual infomercial from Korea (HT: Anderson Live). So let's have some fun writing one-liners for Jimmy Kimmel's next show. You can use the comments section to share yours. Here are mine:

  • If they also showed the models using a Free Flexor, they could put this one on pay-per-view.
  •  
  • Rumor has it the producers had to bring in a steel-reinforced couch for this casting session.
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  • In the American version, a leering Tony Little will stand next to the models yelling, "You can DO IT!"

You've been a great audience. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

October 15, 2012

'Pitch Battle' on Steve Harvey

DRTV pitchman and super nice guy Beau Rials (most recently of Half Time Drill Driver fame) emailed to give me the heads-up on a fun 'pitch battle' that's going down this afternoon on Steve Harvey's new show (promo above or here).

Beau, Anthony Sullivan and Marc Gill are the participants. It airs at 3pm on NBC here in the greater New York area. Set your DVRs!