Weekly Round-Up

1. Shed Vac ($19.95). A handheld pet hair vacuum from National Express. "Lifts loose pet hair while the vacuum suction captures loose fly-aways." www.BuyShedVac.com
   Prediction: Likely to succeed
   My only question is: Will people believe this is powerful enough to get the job done? Otherwise, it meets the criteria and is in a DRTV category with higher than average odds of success.
    
2. Booty Slide ($19.95). Footgear and an exercise program for getting better buns. Pitch: "Booty-licious buns in seven minutes a day." www.BootySlide.com
   Prediction: On the fence
   "Experts agree: Buns are the new abs" might be the worst line I've heard recently. As for the concept, it meets a lot of the criteria, but I don't like DVDs for short form. The footgear barely qualifies as a bonus item because of the low perceived value.
    
3. WineTastic (2 pay of $10). A device for aerating wine from Telebrands. Pitch: "The special design accelerates wine aeration, allowing wine to breathe properly in just the time it takes to pour into your glass." www.BuyWineTastic.com
   Prediction: Unlikely to succeed
   Well, the site is already down, so that was an easy prediction. The problem is wine enthusiasts are a niche market, and they probably don't buy off TV.
    
4. Belly Burner ($19.95). A belt for reducing belly fat from personal trainer Bobby Waldron. Pitch: "Raises your body's core temperature, super-charging the calorie-burning process." www.TheBellyBurner.com
   Prediction: Unlikely to succeed
   This meets a lot of the S7 criteria, but I think the product lacks credibility and the claims they're making will be a problem.
    
5. Hollywood Shoe Store ($19.99). A shoe storage system from IdeaVillage. Pitch: "Instantly makes room to store 20 pairs of shoes." www.GetHollywoodShoes.com
   Prediction: Unlikely to succeed
   There's only room for one.
    
6. Zero Germ ($14.99). A UV toothbrush sanitizer from American Direct. Pitch: "Proven to kill 99.9% of harmful germs that could be living on your toothbrush." www.BuyZeroGerm.com
   Prediction: Bomb
   The Toothbrush Solution didn't go anywhere, and it had the same pitch. I'll reiterate what I wrote then: "Only serious germaphobes think about or care about the microscopic organisms living on their toothbrushes. The other 90% of consumers couldn't care less ..."
    
7. Tease Ease ($19.99). A styling comb from Chelsea Scott. Pitch: "You get all of the volume and all of the lift with none of the breakage and none of the damage." www.TeaseEase.com
   Prediction: Bomb
   Um, it's a comb. (OK, it's a 2-in-1 comb.) I don't see how it is nearly different enough to motivate people off the couch.

The Ubiquitous AJ Khubani

AJ has been busy.

Besides being quoted in the Wall Street Journal, he has made no less than three appearances on the news in recent weeks.

The clips are below. (E-mail readers click here to watch them.)

Review: Super Springz

Description: An insole made with steel springs
Main Pitch: "Revolutionary new shoe insoles made specifically for active people of any age"
Main Offer: $19.95 for one pair
Bonus: Second pair FREE (just pay separate P&H)
Marketer: Emson
Website: www.SuperSpringz.com
Prediction: Unlikely to succeed

This type of product has a terrible track record on DRTV. Insolia, Comfort Soles and Impact Gel (featured on the premiere episode of Pitchmen) have all failed in recent years. The reason becomes apparent when you try to answer a key S7 question: "Will the category be relatively free of competition? Or is it already dominated by big brands with big ad budgets and a few decades of consumer loyalty behind them?"

I vividly remember a meeting I had about an insole product that definitively answered this question for me. The ship had sailed with regard to whether the company in question (which shall remain anonymous) was going to do the project. Unfortunately, it was already a go. We were on to the question of advertising strategy, and a motivated member of the team had had the good sense to go a local retailer and buy every type of insole they carried.

At the meeting, she reached into her bag and pulled out no less than seven different types of insoles -- this despite the fact she had visited a fairly small chain. Dr. Scholl's, the leading brand in that category, made at least five of them. Incidentally, a quick search on WalMart.com today yielded 18 results.

Putting that (major) problem aside, Emson seems to have pinned their hopes for this product on steel springs at a time when gel is popular. To me this seems like a huge step backward technologically. The opposite of "revolutionary" and "new." I wouldn't be surprised if spring insoles were the first type of insoles ever invented, possibly by someone like Thomas Edison or maybe even Ben Franklin.

Wal-Mart Challenges Hopkins

"People don't buy from clowns," said Claude Hopkins, a founding father of direct-response advertising. Now comes word from Wallet Pop that Wal-Mart is trying to prove him wrong (HT: Lindsey Brooks):

Walmart has been called many things, but "cool" was not among them -- until the retail giant unveiled its new clown commercial during Sunday's NFL playoffs. Since then, the clown ad has taken the Internet by storm. Last we checked, it was holding steady at No. 2 on the Viral Video Chart.

Some will suggest the Viral Video ranking is proof the ad is working. I've heard it before. These same claims always arise during this time, culminating when Ad Age releases its "Top 10 Best-Liked, Most-Recalled TV Spots" of the Super Bowl. If Wal-Mart chooses to spend $3 million to air its clown commercial during the Super Bowl, it may very well make the list.

But will it sell? This is the question many marketers forget to ask, and a question only DRTV marketers can really answer. Why? Because we don't have to wait six months and read tea leaves to track sales. Ever try to make a case that an ad increased retail sales? Unless you have a solid baseline and do no other advertising or merchandising for the time period in question, it's all guesswork and wishful thinking.

However, when we air a DRTV spot with viral qualities, we can answer the question empirically. Two examples spring to mind.

The first is Vince Offer's Slap Chop. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Vince's creative work is one of the most loved in history. He's mastered the art of generating buzz, going viral or whatever you would like to call it. Actually, it's the parodies of his ads that go viral. But does this increase sales? Being a visionary, Vince actually put this to the test, as reported by TMZ. He put the most popular parody of his commercial -- DJ Steve Porter's Slap Chop Rap -- on the air with an end tag to see what would happen. The results? Let's just say the rap spot won't be replacing the original spot anytime soon. Vince the Pitchman sells choppers like hotcakes. Vince the Rap Star gets people buzzing, but they aren't buying.

The second example is Doc Bottoms' Aspray (click the link if you haven't seen the spot; it's definitely worth watching). Very viral. But I predicted it wouldn't sell. The guy in the spot was so angry, he confronted me at ERA. He said he was getting a ton of calls. "What about orders?" I asked. No answer. An anonymous reader also took me to task, "Why would you mock this ad, its [sic] getting more FREE publicity than any other DRTV spot ever," he/she wrote. Well, it's four months later, and I haven't seen that publicity translate into a spot on the charts.

The bottom line is this: People love to be entertained. But the ads that amuse us are seldom the ads that sell us. A funny clown ad that doesn't strongly reinforce Wal-Mart's positioning (No. 1 in low prices) is a waste of money. Watch the ad yourself (e-mail readers click here) and let me know if you think it reaches the "strongly reinforce" bar. Will people laugh and then go shop at Wal-Mart? Or will they just laugh?

Review: Wiper Wizard

(E-mail readers click here to see the spot.)

Description: A gadget for resurfacing wiper blades
Main Pitch: "Make old windshield wipers work like new in just seconds"
Main Offer: $10 for one with five Wizard Wipes (microfiber cloths)
Bonus: Double the offer (just pay P&H)
Starring: Richie "Bulldog"
Marketer: Howard-Boscher
Website: www.GetWiperWizard.com
Prediction: Likely to succeed

This campaign has most of the S7 qualities. It solves a common problem. It's different. And Telebrands' Windshield Wonder proved there's a market for these types of solutions. So will this campaign succeed? It really depends on two things.

First, will people want to clean and resurface their wiper blades when replacing them is an easy option? At Sears.com, quality wiper blades are available from as little as $6.99. The average price is likely higher than that, but not high enough to make this a compelling money-saver. So it has to be convenience that drives this purchase, and I'm not sure that's motivating enough.

Two, how will people react to Richie "Bulldog" as a pitchman? He's clearly an amateur, so his success or failure will depend on whether people like his personality. I'm skeptical. If the spot doesn't produce good results, I would test a "product as hero" version next.

Otherwise, this is one of those items I can see catching on. It just depends on how big the "auto solutions" category really is.