Thoughts on "Pitchmen," Episode Three

The third episode of Pitchmen aired last night on Discovery. Overall, I liked this episode a lot. It was well constructed, entertaining and exciting, and it never felt slow or boring. While the last episode focused more on the inventors, this episode focused more on Billy and Sully -- their relationship on and off the set, and the drama that surrounds the testing of new products and the commercial production process.

The items for this show were the Sharkstopper and the Black/Freedom/Juno/Jupiter Jack.

My first reaction to the Sharkstopper, a device that uses sound to repel sharks, was "prevention doesn't sell." I can't count the number of products I've reviewed that were trying to sell prevention to impuIse DRTV buyers. It just doesn't work. This falls under my third criteria for DRTV products: It must solve a problem. And not just any problem: an immediate, pressing problem. DRTV buyers are impulse buyers. People don't buy products on impulse for a problem they might have in the future. Billy and Sully got more hung up on the "does it work?" question, which was certainly important from a liability standpoint, but I would have passed before that phase because of the prevention issue.

The Sharkstopper also violates my second criteria for DRTV products: It must be "mass market." Most people don't surf, so the problem of shark attacks is far from their minds on most days.

Of course, without the Sharkstopper, we wouldn't have had some of the best moments of the episode. I know several people in the industry who would consider Sully's bold stunt their worst nightmare (A.D., I thought of you in particular). I have no fear of sharks, but even I thought Sully was "bloody nuts" for swimming about while Billy was chucking chum into shark-invested waters. That's going too far for a DRTV product! The equivalent for me would be performing the parachute stunt in Mighty Mendit. I love to skydive as much as Sully loves to surf, but I would never put that much faith in an unproven item. At least Mighty Mendit had passed the wind tunnel test!

Moving on, and by contrast, I loved the Jupiter Jack (a hands-free cell phone device) at first site. It meets all seven of my criteria for a DRTV product. The only weakness I see is that it isn't visually exciting, or what Billy calls "demonstrable." That visual "wow" factor is so important in DRTV today. Think Billy hitting his hand with a hammer or the Frenchman cutting himself out of a metal box. The jack just kind of sits there. But I still expect it to continue doing well, especially with all the cell phone laws being passed, as Sully mentioned.

As for the show itself, I think viewers will be figuring it all out by now -- why Billy is coming off the way he does, etc. After an episode of fighting between Billy and Sully, Billy summed it up nicely for us: "When it's all over, we hug, we kiss, we make up. Not that we [ever really] had anything going. It's just how we work, how we get things done." I misread this early on and was genuinely concerned that Billy was being made to look like a bad guy, but it was clear to me after this episode that isn't the case. It's more along the lines of what I wrote last week about Billy and Sully behaving "like brothers, complete with the occassional 'family feud.' "

Last but not least, and as promised, here is my insider perspective for the week. During the editing process for the Jupiter Jack, Sully, Arwen and Carla realize the driving scenes just aren't credible and decide to do a re-shoot to get more realistic footage. I'm sure a lot of people were wondering if this really happens. A whole new day of shooting just for that? Well, it's true. Things like that do happen quite a bit. Some things you just don't see until the edit, no matter how much time you spend trying to get it right on the initial shoot. Most "pickup shots," as they are called, are much less elaborate than what the Sullivan team had to endure, but sometimes that's just the way it goes.

Some people might also wonder what the numbers at the end of the show mean. For example, the Jupiter Jack guy could make $3 in sales for every $1 spent on advertising. Is that normal or great? This number, what insiders call the "media efficiency ratio" (MER) or just the "ratio," is one of the key metrics in the industry. And a 3 to 1, if it holds up on national rollout, would be exactly what Billy called it: a hit as big as Jupiter!

Most campaigns struggle to get to a 2 to 1. In a study I did in 2007, I found the success rate for DRTV items was one in eight. However, most of the hits from the study were in the 2 to 1 MER range. When I narrowed the criteria to what would be the 3 to 1 range, I found the rate to be 1 in 50.

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Review: Sure Clip & Clip It Clean

Description: Nail clipper with lighted magnifier and "catcher" for clippings
Product (D7) Score: 6 out of 7

SURE CLIP
Main Pitch: "The world's most advanced nail clipper"
Main Offer: $10 for one clipper
Bonus: 4-in-1 Miracle Nail Buffer, double the offer (just pay separate P&H)
Marketer: Ontel Products
Producer: Unknown
Sure Clip Website: www.GetSureClip.com
Commercial Rating: OK

CLIP IT CLEAN
Main Pitch: "Illuminates, magnifies and cleans up for you"
Main Offer: $10 for one clipper
Bonus: Double the offer, Professional Callus Remover (just pay separate P&H)
Marketer: Merchant Media
Producer: The Schwartz Group
Sure Clip Website: www.ClipItClean.com
Commercial Rating: Good

I doubled up on this review because both of these commercials tested around the same time. Of the two commercials, the Clip It Clean is the better one. It gets right to the point. The Sure Clip commercial takes forever to get to the key features of this product: The lighted magnifier and the catcher for clippings. Too much time is spent in the beginning of the spot describing the clipper itself.

As for the offers, the Sure Clip wins because the nail buffer bonus is more relevant. Clip It Clean's callus remover might have come across as a better value, but for some inexplicable reason the commercial shows but does not describe the three extra heads that come with it.

As for the product, don't let the high rating fool you. This product has a deadly weakness: It doesn't solve a real problem. You can follow the opening of these commercials and shoot down the problems, one by one. "Can't see your fingernails well enough to clip them?" That's what glasses and lamps are for. "Sick of nasty nail clippings all around your home?" If so, cut your nails over a trash can like everyone else. "Do you dread painful, jagged cuts with your rusty old nail clipper?" Not really, I just throw the old one out and spend $2 on a new one. (Walgreens is selling one that even catches nail clippings for $2.19.) "Sick of cheap nail clippers that tear your nails?" All right, then spend $5 and get a top-of-the-line clipper. Etc.

I'm being a bit flippant, but here's the bottom line: The lighted magnifier feature isn't enough to carry a campaign (see also LumaTweeze) and the other interesting feature of the product, that it catches clippings, isn't very exciting. I think regular old nail clippers are another "good enough" solution that most people aren't dying to see improved.

Review: Lock Fresh

Description: Food storage container with pump lid that sucks out air
Main Pitch: "Keeps food fresh up to five times longer"
Main Offer: $39.95 for three containers (3/4 quart, 1 1/2 quart and 2 1/1 quart)
Bonus: Second set of containers plus a 17-piece culinary tool set
Marketer: Unknown
Producer: Unknown
Website: www.LockFresh.com
Product (D7) Score: 4 out of 7
Commercial Rating: OK

At $39.95, this campaign has no shot at success. The price barrier for short-form DRTV items is $19.99 with few exceptions. Certain categories have stretched the barrier (toys, men's fitness). Food storage is not one of them.

I know some people, especially those in love with their products, cannot accept this. Such people tend to argue that "you never know" and like to cite DRTV items that broke the rules, such as those in the categories I just mentioned. But as the great Al Ries once said: "You can always find at least one exception to every rule. You have a choice. You can either live by the rules and accept the possibility that you might miss an opportunity because you didn’t break the rules. Or you can live a life of anarchy.”

Taking the realistic view, then, this item is too expensive. It is also not unique enough to break through. There is so much activity in this category, I've grown tired of writing about it.

As for the commercial, it gets the job done but is not inspiring.

Review: Perfect Brownie

Description: Special pan for baking and then serving brownies and other treats
Main Pitch: "Bake the perfect brownie batch every time"
Main Offer: $19.95 for pan with removable tray bottom, stand and dividers
Bonus: 10 decorating stencils, Gooey & Chewy recipe booklet
Marketer: Allstar
Producer: The Schwartz Group
Website: www.PerfectBrownie.com

Product (D7) Score: 6 out of 7
Commercial Rating: Good/Excellent

I don't love baking items for DRTV, but I love this product and its commercial. That's because it's something truly unique and desirable, and the commercial does a great job of emphasizing these strengths.

The challenge with baking items is that they typically don't solve a pressing problem. A great example, which taught me this lesson, was the Pancake Puff. I gave it rave reviews and thought it would be the greatest thing since sliced bread. It wasn't. In doing a post-mortem on the item, I had to accept that "the problem matters." The Pancake Puff was a great item, but not being able to make munchkins at home isn't a real problem, so the campaign couldn't generate that critical impulse to buy.

Allstar is taking a similar risk with this item, but this product is a little different. Within the task of baking, it does solve a problem: uneven cooking and gooey deserts that get hopelessly stuck to the pan. And what a cool solution! The rack separates the brownies, so they cook evenly and don't get stuck together. Then the bottom and sides drop away when serving, leaving the perfect rack of treats behind. Brilliant!

Returning to the commercial, I want to start giving special credit to producers who are creative enough to come up with those little signature lines we all remember. That recent CNBC special paid homage to some of the most famous ones; e.g., "set it and forget it," "but wait! there's more!" and so on. Derek over at The Schwartz Group has a special flare for "it's so easy" analogies, and this commercial includes one of his classic comparisons:

"If you can make ice cubes, you can use the Perfect Brownie pan!"