From the Pre-Blog Archives
- STICKY NIPS ($19.95) are adhesive silicone pieces that allow women to change the shape and contour of their, um, chests. They come in four skin tones. Comments: Need I say it? Bomb! Putting aside how ridiculous and lacking in credibility this item is, I had to go through three Web screens to figure out what the item is. (You don't want to know.) Any spot that makes people work that hard to understand it is doomed.
- TAP 'N GLOW TRI-LITE ($19.95) is a cube-shaped Tap Light that has three brightness settings. Tap it once for a night light, twice for a soft light and three times for a bright light. Comments: Unlikely to succeed. This spot is a great test of a theory of mine: When a DRTV category is saturated, no matter how much "better" your product is, it won't sell. In theory, this item should do well. It's an improvement over the Tap Light, which is a proven winner, and the offer is a great value. In reality, it will fail because the target customers have already purchased a Stick-Up Bulb, Stick 'N Click or Quik Brite. There aren't enough prospects left to sustain a CPO.
- PRESTO (Soft Offer) is an email solution for seniors. The service converts emails and sends them to an HP printer hooked up to a phone line. Like a fax machine, the device prints any emails (pictures or text) you send to it. Comments: This is very likely to succeed. Obviously, it won't perform in a pure DRTV sense, but the price and ongoing revenue opportunity is high enough that the economics should work. Plus, the item is tailor-made for the DRTV audience. That is, it solves a real problem for seniors.
- SLIME (Free Trial) is a beauty cream. No kidding. The secret ingredient in this beauty cream is snail slime. Really. Apparently, it has a miracle effect on wrinkles and acne. The slogan? "Turn back time with slime." The bonus? Dark-circles slime, of course. This is a Telebrands item. Comments: Oh no they didn't!
- EXTRA HANDS ($19.95) are over-size tongs for tossing salads, etc. They have long "fingers" that make them look like hands. This is an Incredible Discoveries product. Comments: Prediction? Bomb. The product is only marginally unique, and it doesn't solve a real problem. Plus, the product is boring!